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[ Writer ] = Sol Sadguy
[ 11/29/07 ] = Contents May Be Hot

This is a little late in coming (at least we put it up in time for the Japanese release), but I feel it time to say SOMETHING about the "Hot coffee" mod in GTA:San Andreas. For those of you living uder rocks and distant moons of Jupiter, the hot coffee mod is a sex minigame that occurs after you take an in-game girlfriend home, complete with nakedness, sperm, all the "good stuff."

First off, a message to the bored crusading housewives of the world - get a new hobby. Your constant need to change the things you do lot like, or see as moral decay, or feel is inappropriate for our younger generation is laudable, to be sure. I mean, who would want their kids seeing this crap? I guess that's why the goddamn game was RATED FOR AGES 18 AND OVER IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE, WASN'T IT? It started with Night Trap, and it certainly hasn't ended there, has it?

If you don't want your kids to see this, then don't get them the game. Worried about them getting it from somewhere else? Good luck. Any of the major retailers will CARD anyone attempting to purchase a game rated M or AO. Blockbuster will not rent this out to anyone who does not have proper ID, and for this I congratulate them.

Whoa; did I just change sides?! Nope, not on your life. I think that, yes, definitely there needs to be some kind of control implemented over what media the younger generation has access to. Not because I'm a moral crusader, or that I disagree with any violent/sexual game, but as has been proven time and time again, parents just can't be bothered with raising their kids. Inevitably when these kids show disturbed behavior, or have emotional issues, the VERY first place people are going to look is what their hobbies are, what they listen to, etc. You hear it allllll over the news; this violent little shit played Doom, this guy who robbed the blood bank listens to KMFDM, the man who shot up a day care center plays Pinochle, and so on.

Cause and causation, folks. Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is probably the most plausible. Instead of wondering and worrying about what these people do in their spare time, why not look at their influences, the people who are to train them in what is right and wrong? Of course, there's free will involved, but any seasoned sociologist will tell you that any society will have the ability to impact its many parts with it's behaviors and social patterns. And what will these kids do when they see something wrong in someone else's life? Place blame on a myriad number of things that have absolutely nothing to do with anything?

Video gaming is an art form. The creation, the playing, the enjoyment of it to any other socially acceptable behavior, and you come away with some surprising conclusions. It's taken across many cultures, with its own flavor from each. It's a media, and who is to say that this isn't a pursuit on the same level of wine tasting, or movie watching, or even enjoying a wonderful jaunt through a museum? Video gaming has history, and celebrities, and games considered masterpieces - wonderful works that are considered the pinnacle of their art. When you consider the wide range of games, systems, genres, and peripherals, why not compare it to a higher social activity?

Instead, we have examples such as this- a violent, smutty piece of trash that pollutes our kids. Of course nothing can be taken from this game - it doesn't have a genuis script, it doesn't have subtle social commentary, and it certainly doesn't add to "society" at large; its sole purpose is brainwash, making our children into violent, horny little demons. Much rather they become passive consumers, avidly fighting the good fight against anything that threatens the status quo.

Until societies' perception of gaming, and gamers at large, changes to a more positive light we can expect more assaults like this one. We can expect that, given the current state of affairs in the realm of what's acceptable, the first amendment and everything done to bolster it, will all fall to ruin amidst red, white, and blue smoke. Family units worshipping the TV and the idea that everything we do is right, and anything to the contrary of what we're told is wrong.

All in all... No, I don't enjoy "coffee." But that doesn't mean other, who are responsible and can handle it don't enjoy it. Isn't that their choice? To put it simply, if you don't like coffee, don't drink it.