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[ Writer ] = BAD
[ 12/30/06 ] = To Our Dismay

I've always hated Squeenix, and I don't give a fuck about them or their trashy games. I watch what they do (even though I despise them) to know the enemy. Every step they take gives birth to another reason for me to hate them, and the most recent comes from an interview IGN did with Michihiro Sasaki. This interview is the straw that broke the camel's back. "We don't want the PlayStation 3 to be the overwhelming loser, so we want to support them," he said. "But we don't want them to be the overwhelming winner either, so we can't support them too much." Listen to this shit. Can you believe this smug asshole? This is all so stupid, on so many levels, I was at a loss for words when I first read it. It's downright insulting. Make no mistake, he shows that they have no respect for other developers. Square, did you think we wouldn't notice after all these years? There's a Squeenix building in Shinjuku, Tokyo, and I look in disgust every time I pass it because of shit like this. I fucking hate you more than ever, Square. And fuck you too, Michihiro Sasaki. I hope you're reading this, you son of a bitch.

From that comment it sounds like you assholes think your games make and break hardware. You and your army of smug businessmen think Squeenix determines the worth of hardware. But does it, really? No, and it never did. The platforms you choose don't sell just because your games are on them, they sell because other (better) developers make games for them. All you fuckers do is go where everyone else goes, and do what everyone else does. I think it's funny how you assholes think you're the best developer in the world, when there are a ton of other developers that make better games than you do.You've been playing the same old game for years, and it makes me fucking sick. There are people out there who hate you bastards (and I am the one with the loudest voice). Let's take a trip down memory lane...

First, Capcom's Dead Rising and Microsoft's own Gears Of War have been responsible for the recent spike in XBox 360 sales, not Final Fantasy XI or Project Sylpheed. People who were interested in Final Fantasy XI bought it for the PS2 and/or PC when it first came out, and Project Sylpheed is a tragedy, so neither sold XB360s. Even the PSP doesn't owe its minimal sales to the few Squeenix games on it, and the Nintendo DS was selling like crazy before you idiots even released FFIII for it. Anyone could have predicted that you assholes would make a B-Line straight for the NDS to catch up with the rest of the flock. True, FFIII is selling well, but it has nothing on the plethora of boring cooking and writing ("brain-training") games that have already made the NDS so popular with the masses. All FFIII did was make the NDS more popular with the masses; it didn't single-handedly make the NDS popular.

Before that, the original XBox did fine without any of your shitty games. Halo did more for the system than any Square game would have, and that series sucks, too. While we're at it, let's not forget the one shitty Final Fantasy game thrown on the GameCube. Remember? Back then, you couldn't let anyone but Sony "be the overwhelming winner," so you made a Final Fantasy game for Nintendo's system that was so different from its poppy longhair love-story predecessors that even your so-called fans wouldn't touch it. Even with GameCube to GameBoy Advance Link support, hardly anyone bought the game itself, let alone a system for it. Your pathetic, half-assed support for the GameCube wasn't at all the system-selling trump card it was made out to be. Even your increased support for the GameBoy Player / GameBoy Advance with redone Final Fantasy games did nowhere near as much for the hardware as the Castlevanias and Metroids did.

And right now everyone thinks that the PS2 owes its overwhelming success to Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts, but it doesn't. Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts sold well, but the PS2 isn't successful just because those games are on it. The PS2 was destined to take an overwhelming share of the market (just as its predecessor had), with or without Square games. We don't need sales figures to see that people were buying systems to play Gran Turismo 3, Metal Gear Solid 2, and Grand Theft Auto III. There are a few other system sellers, but the point is that these games show that the PS2 doesn't owe its success to you assholes. Support of PS2-compatible arcade hardware is another factor, and one that your support has had absolutely no bearing on.

You idiots supported the WonderSwan until its demise, but it didn't change anything. Why? Because the system just never caught on, and it couldn't catch up to the GameBoy Color (which had been on a system killing spree for quite some time). Just as before, you followed other developers (who thought they'd give the thing a chance), but your support did nothing to save it from suffering a painful death. I'm neutral on the system, but the first time I saw Final Fantasy on it, I was like, "What the fuck is this? Get this ugly shit out of my face." Poor WonderSwan. At least you did them a favor and canceled Final Fantasy III for it. I don't know anyone who owns any of the Final Fantasy games for the WonderSwan, let alone the system itself Do you?

And let's not forget the DreamCast, which exited early from the American consumer market but continues to flourish both in arcades and at home in the Japanese market. Though few, there are still periodic consumer and arcade releases, and the hardware is a favorite among developers. Why is the DreamCast-compatible hardware still popular among developers? Not because of you fuckers, that's for sure. The media and masses call the DreamCast a failure, but anyone who knows anything about the industry knows that it's quite the opposite. It's continued support from various developers shows success that owes no thanks to Squeenix. The complimentary Neo Geo Pocket also didn't have any Square games, but then again, there was hardly any third-party support for it in the first place (so that's a whole different thing). And who can forget about the knife you dirty bastards drove into Nintendo's back with the N64? True, it didn't do as good as the PlayStation did in the long-run, but it did have some third-party support, and it still did good with strong system-sellers like Super Mario 64 and GoldenEye. You kicked dirt in the eyes of an unsuspecting Nintendo and ceased all N64 development "to develop on cheaper CD-ROM media." Gotta go where the money i$, right? You ba$tard-a$$ motherfucker$.

Your boring, uninspired, un-interactive games happened to be in the right place, just in time to exploit the laziness of "Generation X(crement)." Final Fantasy games undoubtedly sold systems (because Cloud is "sooooo cool" and Sephiroth is "sooooo bad"), but again, games like Gran Turismo, Metal Gear Solid, and Resident Evil did a lot to sell systems, too. Sony's hardware steadily gained ground with support from nearly every developer in the industry (including SNK, Namco, and Taito). The Sega Saturn didn't do well mainly for reasons stemming from add-on peril, and Square support wouldn't have changed anything in the end.

Final Fantasy III on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System developed a following, but it was too boring to be a system-seller. People bought the SNES for Super Mario World, Street Fighter II, and Donkey Kong Country; not Final Fantasy III. Nobody bought the SNES for shitty Square RPGs, and their limited production proves it. The SNES was popular because it had killer third-party support from a lot of other developers. The Sega Genesis had no Square titles, but with strong first-party and third-party titles it never needed it. I've heard from a lot of reliable sources that the SG sold more than the SNES, and if it's true then what does that speak of Square support? Volumes.

Nobody started liking you assholes until Final Fantasy hit the PlayStation, but I remember when nobody even knew what the fuck Final Fantasy was. That was back with the NES. Rad Racer was known and popular, but who the fuck cared about Final Fantasy? Or 3-D World Runner? I've seen 3-D World Runner once, and it was one of the worst fucking experiences I've ever had. That game could make anyone sick as a dog. Everyone knows why the NES did well, and not one of the (many) reasons has to do with Square support. Square, none of your games sold Nintendo's 8-bit system. Do you remember what it was like before you became big stars? Before FMV? Before pretty long-haired dudes that look like girls became "cool?" Before non-interactive games became normal? I do, and I liked it better when you kept your fucking mouths shut.

Square, you have never been single-handedly responsible for the success of any console. Your games sell, but they don't make or break hardware. Different factors decide the fate of a system, and one of them is general third-party support. The most successful hardware always owes its success to strong third-party support; not to a single developer (as you seem to think). It takes more than one or two strong companies to make a system popular and successful, despite your implications that Square does so by itself You may have fooled others, Squeenix, but you haven't flown anything by me (you fucking bastards). Your empire of shrewd businessman is lucky to have survived the underwhelming performance of the Final Fantasy movie, and it's really too bad you escaped. Videogames would be so much better off without you (and your cronies at EA). I await your demise...

[ Extra ] = Features
[ 1 ] = IGN Interview