I've talked before about how much I hate pushy, inconsiderate American game store sales clerks, but I never got around to how much I hate loitering "customers" of the same nature. Recently something reminded me that I had a long-overdue article to write about the bumbling idiots who linger in American game stores and irritate legitimate customers. So it goes like this; I'm in an American game store a while back (not GameStop or EB Games, fuck them) looking at the new releases. I asked the moderately attractive female salesperson (a busty blonde with OK hair) if I could check out Capcom Classics Collection Remixed and Vampire Chronicle for PSP. She hands me the games with a smile and tells me the price of each. Then, from my right some dirty low-life with tinted goggles comes up and says, "Don't buy the Capcom, man." Before any more shit could come out of his head, I looked him in the eye and said, "You're talking to the wrong person; I'm a fan, not a magazine editor." The place got silent. His face dropped, and so did hers. If I didn't have to worry about touring in a few days, I would have punched him in the nose. I fucking hate when some prick I don't even know comes up and tries to advise me on what to buy. Seriously; what kind of person does that kind of shit? When this idiot came into the store, the sales chick asked him if he was looking for anything in particular, and his reply was, "No, just looking at the new Pokemon game." So let me get this straight; this guy is into Pokemon games and tried to advise me not to buy the collection of timeless classics on Capcom Classics Collection Remixed? You've got to be fucking kidding me. What would this fucker know about timeless classics like Captain Commando, Mercs, or Street Fighter? Probably nothing, and if he did then he's a fucking sell-out. Everybody crosses paths with jerks like this; they're like a rash spread across game stores in the US. These self-proclaimed "gamers" do nothing but fill me with disgust.

They always have to be front and center, loitering where everybody can hear and see them. Who the fuck do these guys think they are? Some stupid-ass magazine critics? Why anyone would want to emulate the pathetic life of some asshole magazine editor like Crispin Boyer is beyond me. Who the fuck would want to waste even a day living the pathetic life of some mainstream magazine editor? I hope you're reading this, too, you fucking scumbag. Anyway, I wait to give these loitering motherfuckers a piece of my mind because they deserve it. Why do they deserve to be put in their place? Because they go around harassing people and regurgitating shit from magazines like EGM, that's why. They need to mind their own business and let others do their shopping (or browsing). I don't go to the game store to get advice from anyone (let alone some jackoff with a big mouth), and I think many would agree with me. These fuckers act like they know everything just because they read the same mainstream magazines that everyone else reads. Nobody cares about a goddamn thing they say, and they look like fools. I remember one time a collection of shitheads loitering at my favorite independent game store called it "sacrilige' because I didn't like Square (and still don't). They looked like they wanted to come at me, and they should have so that I could have kicked their asses one by one. I've been a fan for 20 uninterrupted years, I'm still here, and I've been /true/. Cool or not, trend or not, in or not, MTV or not, games have always been my thing. I've always been a fan.

To these inconsiderate assholes and the countless others like them: FUCK YOU. I love games, but I'll never, ever be like you.