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[ Writer ] = Andee Werewulf
[ 01/09/08 ] = The Saints Row Guide To Assholization

Alright, to start off, HOW MANY PIECE OF SHIT, GANG PROMOTING, ASSHOLE ARMY-BUILDING, GTA REPLICAS ARE GOING TO BE RELEASED?!? I mean honestly, this game is nothing more than some piece of garbage running around attempting to reign supreme in the VIDEO GAME gang world. Thats right, VIDEO GAME!!! That means that when you go to school or work, you're still going to be that piece of shit pushover that everyone pisses on at a party. The classic asshole who talks shit as someone is walking away. Not to mention the minute that person turns around you tuck your dick inbetween your ass and run. So when you're sitting there running around in this terrible excuse for a fictional world shooting people and stealing cars, I will be outside of your house taking a shit in the backseat of YOUR car. I will be throwing your wife and kids into elephant shit at the zoo.

Everytime I am forced to play a free-roam game involving gangs, I always end 5 minutes later by pouring salt, lime, and a dash of hot sauce straight into the retna of my eyeball!!! That, to me, ladies and gentlemen, is far better than having to see one more second of this piece of garbage called a video game. I truly (from the bottom of my heart) pray that a gorilla escapes from the zoo and rapes you. Then, decides to spend the rest of his life wiping the sweat from his grundle on your lips (just like how I'll spend the rest of my life pissing on your car). I pray that your family gets into a car accident involving gangs on a rampage; this way, YOU will have to live the sorrow of your dirt-fucking parents. If you own this game, your mother is the biggest piece of skid-mark residue on this planet for spawning you into this world; just as "GTA" and "Saints Row" are the skid mark on video game history.